


The Birds & The Sirens

by 1FantasticBeastThatYouCantFind



Category: Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020)
Genre: F/F, Gotham City Sirens, Post-Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn), cassandra finds a mother, it's very gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:26:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24519163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1FantasticBeastThatYouCantFind/pseuds/1FantasticBeastThatYouCantFind
Summary: As the Birds of Prey expand and Harley Quinn begins to reunite with old friends and lovers, The Joker begins to wreak havoc on their lives, leading the Birds of Prey and the Gotham City Sirens to team up so they can take him down once and for all.
Relationships: Helena Bertinelli/Dinah Lance, Kate Kane/Renee Montoya, Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel
Comments: 20
Kudos: 152





	1. Punchline

**Author's Note:**

> **COMMENTS AND FEEDBACK ARE GREATLY APPRICIATED**

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Birds of Prey decide to go after the clown prince of crime.

It was a typical night for the Birds of Prey. Another day. Another warehouse full of goons that can lead them to the ring leader. Renee was being the more serious out of the three. Helena was quiet unless provoked by Dinah. Same old story. Except there was one thing different about tonight.

"What's with the mask", Helena asked in a hushed voice, so as not to blow their cover.

"What are you talking abo-" Dinah took one look at Renee and began cackling with laughter. 

Renee was wearing a tan featureless mask over her entire face. She had a hole cut out of the back so her hair could be out and she wore a large navy blue fedora on her head. They couldn't see it but she was rolling her eyes. She pulled the mask up from over her face to reveal an expression of annoyance. "Alright, lovebirds. What's so funny?"

It took a few seconds for the two of them to answer her, as they were laughing so hard. Once Dinah was finally able to talk, she said: "The mask is stupid"

Helena snorted with laughter, while Renee scoffed with disgust. "It is not stupid!" The more she laughed, the redder she got. She turned so red that she had to pull the mask back over her face. "What about you, crossbow? You've got a mask on."

Dinah shot her an amused look. "It's a small mask. At least Helena doesn't look like Indiana Jones and they had all their facial features removed."

Helena chuckled some more. "Yeah, and also..." Helena fell silent, struggling to think of a good joke. Renee and Dinah just sat there, waiting. Helena's face lit up when she finally came up with a joke. "You don't have a face!" Helena started cackling and Dinah joined in. She didn't think it was all that funny but it was great seeing Helena enjoy herself so much. It was also great watching Renee get so annoyed. They couldn't see her expression, due to the mask. But they didn't need to. They could tell.

"Oh, ha ha ha", Renee said sarcastically. "Ya know, Canary. Just because you've gone on a few dates with Crossbow doesn't mean you have to laugh at everything she says"

Dinah scoffed before lovingly looking over at Helena. "What can I say", she asked, as she pressed her forehead against Helena's. "She just makes me laugh"

Helena almost melted. She was loved it whenever Dinah pulled her close."I make her laugh", Helena bragged, once they separated. 

Renee shook her head. "Yeah, that honeymoon phase is always great but, sooner or later, you're gonna start testing each other every single day"

Helena's smile faded and an upset look appeared instead. "Are we?"

Dinah gripped her hand. "No, we're not", she said, giving Renee the stink eye.

Renee groaned. "I'm sorry for being so cranky, okay? I'm new to this whole 'sobriety' thing"

The three of them fell silent again. This was a bit of a touchy subject and Renee really wanted to better herself. So they didn't want to say anything that would upset her. Even Helena, who never exactly had a filter, knew she had to choose her words very carefully. "Congratulations on the chip"

Dinah put up a smile, choosing to follow along with Helena. "Thirty whole days, huh? Just think. Another thirty more and then-"

Renee raised a hand up to silence them. "Can we just focus on the operation right now? 

The other two shared a knowing look and nodded at Renee. As Renee let out a sigh of exasperation, Dinah stood up and peeked through the warehouse windows. She started muttering to herself before referring back to the others.

"I count seven. Six goons in clown masks. And one woman."

"A woman?"

Dinah nodded. "Yeah, a woman. Tall one. Black hair. Those weird clown makeup circles on her nose and cheeks."

"Damn", Renee remarked. "Sounds like an anti-Harley"

"What's with all the clown stuff", asked Helena, much to the bewilderment of Renee and Dinah.

"It's the Joker's men, babe"

"Who?"

"The Joker", said Renee, apparently believing that if they simply kept repeating the name then it would sink it. She turned to Dinah. "I thought you were gonna fill her in on everything that was going on"

Dinah began speaking in a defensive tone. "I did! I told her we were gonna start going after Gotham's most dangerous criminal."

Helena awkwardly looked back and forth at the two of them. "Right. That could've been anyone."

Dinah sighed, exasperated. "You know... Harley's ex."

Helena sat there for a second and Dinah swore she could've seen the math equations floating around her head. Then, her eyes suddenly went wide. "Oh! The Joker! I remember now. Yeah, let's go kill his guys." She raised her crossbow and pointed it at the window. "What's the call?"

Now, Renee was looking in too. She examined each of the goons. Indeed, the only one that stood out was the tall woman. "What do you two think? Should we go for the lady?"

"It's your call", said Helena.

Dinah looked around frantically. "Why is it my call?"

"We voted you the leader"

"Helena wasn't gonna do it and I was too much of a drunk to lead a team. So what's your call?"

Dinah took one last glance in the window. She noticed that the tall woman was the only one without a gun. "I say you take out one of the goons"

"Any one of them?"

"Any one of the-"

Before she could finish, however, Helena shot an arrow through the window, shattering the glass and hitting the neck of a goon standing in the center. As he collapsed, all the other men surrounded him, observing him as the life slowly left him.

Dinah's heart starting racing a million beats per minute. "What the fuck was that?

Helena was aghast, mostly at the implication that she somehow did something wrong. "I mean, you said to shoot anyone. Was that not an 'okay'?"

"See", Renee chimed in with a smug tone. "You're already testing each other."

Dinah turned to Renee, giving her the stink eye again. "Okay. You know what-"

But as she did this, Helena reloaded her crossbow and shot another goon in the neck. This time the guards didn't choose to watch him die. They instead pointed all their weapons at the window. 

"Get down", said Helena, in a raised hush.

The three ducked under the window as the men began shooting at them. Dinah stared in disbelief (Renee stared to but the mask covered whatever look was on her face). "You shot another guy?"

Again, Helena seemed a little thrown off by their disbelief. "They were all distracted! It was the perfect time to attack! Now they're down by two!"

"Communication is key to a relationship", Renee joked.

There was fury in Dinah's eyes. "I will shoot you with Helena's crossbow"

The two of them squabbled some more until Helena spoke up. "They stopped firing! They're reloading!"

"Well, what are you waiting for", asked Dinah. "Go! Get in there!"

The three of them jumped in the window and the four remaining goons took aim at them. Helena shot another of them in the eye. As he screamed in anguish and clutched his bleeding eye, he ran into another goon, causing the both of them to fall to the ground. They were now four guys down.

Before the other two could fire, Dinah kicked one of them in the chest and Renee managed to tackle the other to the ground. Dinah picked up the goon's gun and shot him. As that went on, Renee managed to get the upper hand on the man she was tackling However, he managed to successfully aim the gun at her. However, Helena noticed and shot him with her crossbow. They were now six guys down. As Renee stood up, short of breath, something dawned on her.

"What the hell? I thought we were gonna leave one guy alive! Question him and he'll lead us to the big guy."

Helena scoffed. "Well, there's still the tall woman. We didn't get her yet."

"Wait", said Dinah. "Where the hell is she anyway?"

None of them could see it but the tall woman in the clown makeup was hidden in the shadows, waiting for the right moment to strike. She silently crept up behind Helena like a snake, switchblade in hand. As she stepped out from the shadows, she raised her switchblade up at her but not before Dinah could look over and notice.

"Helena, look out!"

She jumped at Helena, shoving her out of the way, sending both of them tumbling to the ground. Before hitting said ground, however, Dinah felt a searing pain in her side. While Helena stood up, Dinah found herself lying on the ground, any sort of movement too painful. She heard Helena and Renee's voices.

"Dinah!"

"Oh, shit"

Dinah lifted her head just high enough to catch a glimpse of her side, only to discover that her side was bleeding. The clown girl must've taken a shot at her when she tried to save Helena. Her eyesight was growing more and more fuzzy. She saw Helena before her, telling her she was going to be okay. She saw the woman in the clown makeup pick up one of the goon's guns. She saw Helena pull out a pistol and aim it at the clown woman.

Dinah took a deep inhale, ready for defense. Renee took a glance at Dinah and realized what was about to happen. As the woman began to aim, Renee pulled Helena away for her safety. Before she the woman could shoot, Dinah let out a deafening canary cry so forceful that it pushed the woman so hard she flew off her feet and it the wall, hitting the ground, unconscious. Renee and Helena crouched behind her, their ears covered. Once Dinah saw that the woman was out, she went silent. And after that, everything went black.

When Dinah woke up, she was in a completely different place. The light from the window made it obvious that it was morning already. Instead of a warehouse, she was laying in a familiar bed. Helena's bed. She took a deep sigh of relief. She was alive and well. There was a delicious smell coming from outside the room. Before she could figure out what it was, Helena walked in, smiling and holding two items wrapped in tin foil.

"Hey! you're up!", said Helena, racing over to Dinah's bedside. "You, uh... You hungry?" She offered one of the objects in foil. "It's one of those disgusting egg sandwiches that Harley always goes on about."

Dinah sat up in bed, smiling at how thoughtful her girlfriend was. She took the sandwich from her, unwrapped the foil, and almost took a bite before a thought crossed her mind. "Wait, if it's so disgusting then why did you buy two?"

Helena awkwardly stared at her feet. "Well, yes. It's a processed, greasy mess. On the other hand..." She took one look at the sandwich and immediately unwrapped the foil and took a huge bite out of the sandwich. "It's soooo good", she said, muffled, as her mouth as full.

Dinah chuckled before taking a bite out of her sandwich. Once she was able to talk, she only had one question. "So what happened after I blacked out?"

"Oh, that... didn't... go well" Helena took another bite of the sandwich to try not to answer further. 

Dinah eyeballed her. "Helena..."

Helena sighed. She tried to avoid eye contact with her. "I took you home, patched you up. That's the kind of stuff they taught me in Italy. Well... they taught me how to do it on myself but I can also do it on others. Renee stayed behind to take care of the clown girl but as soon as she stepped back in, she was gone."

Dinah looked defeated. "So we're back at square one, then?"

Helena nodded. She saw the look on her face and felt ashamed. "I'm just gonna..." She grapped the tin foil from DInah. "I'll throw this out." Before she could leave, Dinah grabbed her hand.

"Hey... Thanks for stitching me up" Dinah shot her a sultry look.

Helena, always the oblivious, simply smiled and nodded, pleased with herself. "You're welcome. I'm gonna go throw out this tin foil."

Dinah chuckled and gripped Helena's hand even harder. "You are something else, Helena Bertinelli" She leaned in and whispered seductively into Helena's ear. "I want you to stay in the room and make out with me, dummy."

Helena's eyes went wide. "Oh!" She eyeballed Elena again and, once everything sunk in, she bit her bottom lip. "Ooooooooooooooh..."

"Yeah..." Dinah grabbed Helena by the scruff of her shirt and began to slowly pull her in close. Helena closed her eyes, ready to feel nothing but Dinah. The space between them slowly began to disappear while they slowly began to feel each other's warmth...

And then a loud banging noise interrupted them before anything could happen.

Dinah sighed and fell back onto the bed. "I'll get it", said Helena. "You rest. It's probably just Renee."

Helena got up and walked all the way over to the door. She took a deep breath so she didn't scream at whoever was knocking for interrupting her and Dinah. She then threw open the door and saw the last person she wanted to see that day.

"Hello, Tall, Dark, and Socially Awkward!"

"Hey, Harley"


	2. Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley reunites with an old flame while Cassandra bonds with Dinah and Helena.

Harley stood in Helena's doorway, sporting her usual wide Cheshire grin. Her outfit had changed since the last time they had saw her. It looked at if she was wearing a costume similar to her one-piece jester outfit, but with a few changes. For one, this was clearly new. Harley had gone off in the past about how her old costume was worn-out and full of moth holes. This new outfit didn't go over neck and that weird white cloth (Helena didn't know the name) was absent, along with large jester cowl and mask. The most significant change was a large aviator jacket over the costume.

But Harley wasn't alone. Cassandra Cain suddenly appeared out from behind her. She wasn't wearing the same hand me down clothes. The over-sized coat and hat were gone. Instead, she was wearing a jean jacket covered in several patches and was holding... an overnight bag.

"Oh, no", said a slack-jawed Helena, upon seeing the bag.

"Guess who spending the night", Harley proclaimed in a sing-song tone.

Cassandra put up a false innocent smile. "Hi, Helena!"

"Harley, no", Helena pleaded. "I had plans tonight"

Harley rolled her eyes. "It's just until tomorrow morning. I'm meeting up with an old gi-" She paused in the middle of the word. "Friend. Old friend. " She put her false smile back on. "Plus, now that Montoya's sobering up, the only plans you could really have are-"

"Hey, baby", came Dinah's voice. "Who's at the do-" Dinah walked up to the door and saw who was standing on the other side. "Ah, shit" She put her hand to her head. Helena closed her eyes and braced herself for the incoming comments.

Dinah, on the other hand, had her eyes wide open and was able to see every the reaction on both their faces. Cassandra's eyes had gone wide. Her mouth was completely agape. She looked over to Harley to see if she had heard the same thing. Harley, on the other hand, was sporting a wide open smile before letting out an excited squeal. 

Cassandra turned to Harley and her mouth closed into a smirk and raised a hand up. "We were right!"

"They ARE bumping uglies", Harley exclaimed, high-fiving Cassandra without looking.

Dinah buried her face in her hands. Helena simply looked around, not caught up on the slang and terminology used by her peers. "I don't get it. What does that mean?"

"They think we're having sex", Dinah groaned. 

Helena turned a deep shade of red. "Oh, we're not... We haven't..." She continued to stammer and never actually finished. Dinah couldn't believer her eyes, but she could have sworn that she saw a smile form in the corner of her mouth.

"Wait", Cassandra chuckled. "Were those your 'plans' for tonight?"

Dinah looked at Helena, bewildered. "What is she talking about? What is even going on?"

"Harley's asking you guys to watch me while she visits an old girlfriend for the day", said Cassandra, deadpan.

Harley put up a faux offended look. "I believe I said 'old friend'!"

"She did", said Helena. "But she's obviously talking about an ex"

"Excuse me!"

The rest of them ignored her. "Anyway", Helena began. "Can you please tell her that we-"

"We'd love to", Dinah interrupted. "Cassandra's really cool when she's not a total pain in the ass"

"Thanks", said Cassandra, sarcastically. "I love you guys, too."

"Plus, it's not like we were doing anything tonight."

Helena, trying to release her anger, frantically tapped her finger on the wall. "No. No, we weren't."

"Yay", Harley cheered. She threw her arms around a clearly annoyed Helena. "Thank you so much!"

"Tomorrow morning", whispered Helena. "Or else"

A still energetic, if not slightly terrified Harley released Helena, patted Cassandra on the head, and slowly backed away before throwing the door shut.

There was an awkward silence between the three of them that lasted only a few seconds, but felt like forever. They all stood there, waiting for someone to talk. However, Cassandra finally broke the silence.

"So who's the top and who's the bottom?"

Harley stopped her car at the abandoned city greenhouse. Gotham was chock-full of abandoned places but this location was unique. If a greenhouse was abandoned, then the plants die out and fade away over time. However, the Gotham City Greenhouse had been abandoned and run down for ages but the plants were lusher and greener than they were when the place was still open. Harley knew she had come to the right place. She knew exactly what she had to do. At least she thought she did. She was sober, after all. But she had waited long enough. She had been dumped by the Joker and claimed independence a year ago. It was time to make her move.

As she entered the greenhouse, she found it to be a lot less off-putting than she assumed it would be. Though, this was probably because it was during the day. She had to do this now. The night was for drinking. She had nothing to be afraid of. Even as she walked through the greenhouse, she wasn't afraid. As she felt a weird itch on her ankle, she wasn't afraid. As she looked down and realized the itch was actually a living plant vine that was following her, she was... not afraid but she wasn't exactly feeling brave either.

Right after she noticed it, the plant vine wrapped her ankle and lifted her upside down in the air. Then the vine kept growing, wrapping itself around Harley from neck to toe. Most people would begin screaming for their lives. But Harley Quinn wasn't most people. Quite the opposite, really. In fact, she had found exactly what she was looking for.

"Hey, Red!" She turned her head (the only thing she could turn) looking for current person of interest but she was nowhere to be found. Granted, she couldn't move her head that much so she couldn't look behind her. "Red!" She called out a few more times, waiting for some sort of response but it was just silence. The more she hung there, the more nauseous she got. This was when Harley began to think the worst. "Are you gonna kill me, Red?"

Suddenly, a voice came from behind her. "Now why would I want to kill you", asked the sensual voice with a thick Cuban accent.

"Red", Harley gasped. "Is that you?"

Then, the figure that voice belonged to walked in front of her and looked her straight in the eye. There she was. Poison Ivy. She didn't look mad or annoyed. If anything, she looked pretty smug, grin and everything.

"So you're not mad at me", Harley slurred, due to hanging upside down for so long.

Ivy chuckled. She stroked Harley's cheek with the back of her hand. "Oh, Harley. I'm incredibly furious with you. But I'd never want to kill you." Harley began laughing hysterically. "What's so funny?"

"You could never hate me", Harley said, between laughs. "A lot of people hate me but I know you love me."

Ivy pinched Harley's cheek really hard while still wearing her smug grin. "I did. But the thing is, Harley, I heard about you and the Joker breaking up about a year ago. And I am only just now hearing from you. And you expect me to just welcome you back with open arms?"

"That's not true! I've liked some of your tweets lately."

"And that just makes up for everything?"

"Don't tell me you weren't happy whenever you got those notifications"

"That's ridiculous"

"Of course it's ridiculous! I'm Harley Quinn!"

Ivy rolled her eyes. "You haven't changed at all"

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing", she asked in a hopeful tone. "Are you gonna do that thing where you let me go and say 'I guess we'll find out'?"

Ivy shook her head. "Actually, my plan is to throw you out of this greenhouse and tell you to never come back"

"Wait", Harley blurted. "Can I at least have a chance to a explain myself?"

Ivy playfully squeezed Harley's cheeks. "I just can't say no to that face"

Ivy let go of Harley's face and Harley, still dizzy and red, took a deep breath. "Okay, truth is. I wanted to call you right away. But the thing is I was afraid that you weren't gonna wanna talk to me anymore. Years ago, you asked to choose between you and the Joker and I... Look, that was the worst mistake I ever made in my life and I'm sorry for it. I mean, I wouldn't be friends anymore either if someone did that to me."

Ivy raised an eyebrow. "Do you really expe-" She was thrown off guard when she noticed what Harley was doing. Harley was trying to swing the vines forward. "What are you doing?"

Harley froze. "I definitely wasn't trying to lean forward so I could try an upside-down kiss"

Ivy was stunned. "Anyway... As I was saying, do you really expect me to believe that?"

Harley was beginning to look more and more desperate. She had just poured her heart out to Ivy and she didn't believe. She began racking her brain for ideas of what else to do, wishing that she was drunk enough to come up with an idea. When suddenly, Ivy clapped her hands twice and the vines threw Harley up in the air and released her. Most people would screamed in fear but Harley, if anything else, felt exhilarated. Before she fell to the ground, the vines wrapped around her waist and caught her mid-air. The vines gently placed her on the ground and released her, just a few inches away from Ivy.

Ivy's look of smugness was replaced with a loot of allurement. She placed her hand on the side of Harley's face. "Because I do". 

Harley looked bewildered at first. "What's going-"

Before she could finish, Ivy slowly pulled Harley in close until their lips were pressed together. Harley counted her blessings, closed her eyes, and went along with it. Whatever worries she had and all the confidence she had built up had all melted away. Ivy had weakened her and, for a few seconds, the crazed violent lunatic that was Harley Quinn had vanished.

Once Ivy pulled away and let go, Harley was left giggling and twirling her hair like a smitten teenage girl. "So am I forgiven?"

Ivy placed her index finger on the bottom of Harley's chin. "Maybe. There might be something else you could do to make it all up to me", Ivy winked. "Do you have any ideas?"

"Uh... Do ya wanna go back to my place?"

About forty-five minutes later (fifteen of those minutes were spent on the journey to Harley's apartment), Harley and Ivy were laying in bed, short of breath, lying next to and facing each other.

"Do you forgive me now", asked Harley.

"Oh, absolutely", said Ivy.

Harley put a hand to her forehead and let out a high-pitched sigh. "I'll be honest, Red. I've missed this."

Ivy breathlessly chuckled. "So have I. But, Harley... Can I ask you something?"

Harley touched the roof of her mouth with the tip of her tongue and smiled. "Anything, Red."

Ivy leaned over and whispered into Harley's ear. "What is this really about?"

Harley's eyes went wide and she began to turn redder than Ivy's hair. "Uh, what..." She pretended to clear her throat. "What do you mean by that?" She tried to tug on her shirt collar, forgetting that she wasn't wearing a shirt and that she was being covered by a blanket.

Ivy rolled her eyes. "I'm not an idiot, Harley. I know you want something from me."

Harley, desperate to cover her tracks, let out a fake scoff and hoped that Ivy would buy it. "Um, I'm sorry. Are you accusing me of using you?"

Ivy chuckled yet again. "Ah, you were always good at making me laugh, Harley. I don't think you're capable of using me or anyone really. I mean, you are a violent murderous criminal but I don't think you're capable of using anyone."

Harley smiled and put her hand to her chest. "Awwww, thank you!"

Ivy poked her nose. "You're welcome. But what I was gonna say is that you may not be capable of that but you're just not used to being alone."

Harley let out a genuine scoff this time. "That's not true."

"Okay, sure. And you took down Roman Sionis alone last year?"

"Totally"

"Harley..."

"Okay, I had help from three goody two-shoes lesbians and my child apprentice"

"Please tell me I don't have to meet said child apprentice"

"You have to! We're a package deal", she loudly insisted. "And you have to meet Bruce! He's my hyena! He's not here right now because my sister's looking after him but-"

Ivy threw her hand over Harley's mouth. "See, all you're doing is... Stop licking my hand... you're just confirming my point... Keep licking my hand. It's not gonna do anything. You just really don't like being alo- Okay, my palm is sopping wet now. You win." Ivy removed her hand and wiped it on the sheets. Harley still had her tongue out and winked at Harley. "You are something else, you know that?"

"Of course I do. And, yes. You're right. I like having company." She rolled over until she on top of Ivy. "Especially if that company is you, Red." Harley slowly lowered herself closer to Ivy, inches away from another kiss before Ivy spoke up.

"But seriously, Harley. Who are we going to kill?"

"Oh, just the Joker", she said nonchalantly, as if she had said nothing at all. She closed her eyes pressed her lips onto Ivy's... before realizing that Ivy wasn't getting into it. She open her eyes and saw that Ivy was scowling. She lifted her and back up and rolled back over to the right. "I take it the prospect isn't that exciting for you"

Ivy groaned in anger. "You've got to be kidding me. We get together for the first time in years and, once again, it's all about the Joker!" Ivy threw the sheets off and angrily jumped out of bed.

"Wait, Red! It's different this time", Harley defended.

"How is it any different", Ivy asked, throwing on a red button-down shirt. "How can I be sure that you're actually going to go through with it this time?"

Harley also hopped out of bed and threw on a white graphic tee with a large green planet on it. "Because this time, I know for sure that I don't need him anymore. He treated me like shit and threw me out once he got tired of me! Like I was three-day-old sushi! Last year, I helped kill Roman Sinous! Me AND my dopey little superhero friends, who I fucking love! But when you do shit like that, suddenly you're not fresh meat anymore. You're competition. So I need that motherfucker gone before he gets me, the kid, or my friends" She stopped and began huffing. This took a lot out of her. "So what do ya say?"

Ivy was silent for a bit. She was clearly thinking. "And you promise this isn't the only thing you need me for?"

Harley began to laugh. "Oh, Honey. I have a wonderful plan for what to do after he's gone. Quite a few actually. And they all involve you."

Ivy's green was slowly beginning to turn red. "Is that so?"

Harley smiled, full of herself, and pointed with both hands at her shirt. "Why else would I be wearing a shirt with poison ivy on it?"

Ivy looked up and down at Harley before trying and failing to stifle a laugh. "Harley, that's not poison ivy" Harley's face fell. "Poison ivy has three leaves and the plant on your shirt has five."

Harley naively nodded along. "Oh! So it's poison oak!"

Ivy snickered once again. "Harley, that's marijuana! You're wearing a weed shirt!"

Harley looked massively disappointed and upset by this, like a child when they started to wonder why Bambi's mom wasn't coming back. "What?"

Now Ivy was giggling as she pointed at the shirt. "Harley, there's large glowing letters on the shirt that say 'Legalize it!'"

Now Harley looked like a kid once they realized that Bambi's mom wasn't coming back at all. "B- Bu- But I- I wanted a shirt of you!"

"Aw, Harley. Come here." Ivy smiled proudly and wrapped her arms around Harley. "Do you know what'll make you feel better?"

Ivy heard Harley gasp suddenly. "A shit ton of drinks?"

"Exactly"

While Harley was out, Cassandra spent the day with Helena and Dinah. The two of them had absolutely no idea how to look after a thirteen-year-old so they just watched TV and ate junk food all day. Cassandra wanted to watch all the _Pirates of the_ _Caribbean_ movies and Dinah kept wanting to watch _Game of Thrones_. So they let Cassandra watch the first film ("It's the only one that matters", said Dinah) before moving onto _Game of Thrones_ , before Helena insisted on going back to Pirates ("There's one episode where a little girl gets burned alive and two episodes later, one shirtless dude jokes to the other guy that he boned his grandma? The tone is all over the place!")

In all, it was a pretty solid day. The three of them were able to stop worrying for a day and just relax and do whatever they want, even if Cassandra would get on their nerves every now and then. For example, they got to ask Cassandra how she and Harley knew they would get together. ("You told Dinah 'I like how you were able to kick so high in those tight pants'. You might as well have told her that you like her ass.)

When Cassandra fell asleep that night, the two of them knew that they would be able to follow through on their 'plans' for that night. They were too burned out for that. But they fell sleep in Helena's bed, holding each other. And that was the night where they finally learned to the answer to the age old question.

"She's the bottom", said Dinah, pointing at Helena with her thumb.

"Damn it", Cassandra cursed. "I owe Harley five bucks now."

The three of them sat at the table the next morning, eating breakfast and poking fun at each other. Helena and Dinah each had an omelette but Cassandra simply wanted Pop-Tarts.

"Sooooo", Cassandra began. "Are you two going through with your 'plans' tonight?"

A Dinah in disbelief began to laugh. "You're such a weird kid"

"I guess we could", said Helena, answering the question. "I don't have anything else going on tonight"

"That's not true", said Dinah, nudging her. "That one rich woman invited you to a soiree tonight"

"Helena at a fancy party", asked a curious Cassandra. "That's not gonna end well"

"She's got a point", said Helena. "I'm not good at social interaction."

"You don't say..."

Dinah sighed, leaned over, and kissed her on the forehead. "Don't listen to her, babe. Let's go to the party. I'll be right beside you the whole time."

"Promise?"

"Promise. Now let's stop before Cassandra gets too grossed out.

"Eh", Cassandra shrugged. "This is all just practice. I'm bracing myself for when Harley comes to get me. She's getting back together with her ex-girlfriend. It's gonna be unbearable. At least you guys are chill."

"Really", asked Helena.

"That's... cool", said Dinah, in a laid back manner. Cassandra couldn't see it but the two were high-fiving each other under the table.

Suddenly, they heard a loud knock at the door. "That must be Harley"

Cassandra bid Dinah goodbye before Helena walked her to the door. Once they opened the door, they saw Harley with her messy hair and her sunglasses on, sipping an iced coffee.

"You okay, Harley", asked Helena.

Harley moaned in pain. "Oh, god. Stop. That was way too loud" Harley began rubbing her head.

Helena was taken aback. "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought I said that at a reasonable volume."

Cassandra stood on her toes and whispered into Helena's ear. "She's hungover"

"Ah."

"Don't worry", Harley muttered. "I'm not driving. Unless you think I should."

"Please don't", Cassandra pleaded. She turned back to Helena and gave her a fist bump. "See ya around"

"The door's always open", said Helena, before Cassandra walked out the door with Harley and closed the door behind them.

As Cassandra walked over to Harley's car that she stole from Dinah, she could help but noticed a green woman with firey-red hair. "What's the Wicked Witch doing in the driver's seat?"

"That's Ivy", said Harley, leaning on Cassandra.

Cassandra gripped Harley's hand in fear. "She's literally green? I thought you meant she was environmentally friendly!"

But before Harley could answer, they had gotten to the car and Harley threw herself in the back seat and passed out. Cassandra was nervous about sitting in the passenger seat next to Ivy but knew she had no other option.

"Hey, kid. Name's Ivy. Poison Ivy. Get in. We're gonna go find a cat."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah idk if y'all could tell but i based poison ivy on ana de armas


	3. Batwoman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The birds are invited to a soiree, where Renee meets up with an old flame.

As Dinah sat alone at the table, there was a prolonged and somewhat eerie silence that hadn't been there almost all of yesterday, as Cass was with them the whole time. It was so quiet that Dinah almost fell right back asleep. That is, until, the silence was broken by Helena's loud uproarious laughter. As she rubbed her eyes and walked over to the living room, she saw Helena cackling loudly as she lie on the couch, close to falling off the edge. Dinah had no idea what she was laughing about but she chose to join in. It was rare that she got to see Helena like this.

"What's so funny", she asked.

Helena slid off the couch and onto her feet. She was wiping her eyes from crying, she was laughing so hard. "Harley", she began to explain while catching her breath. "Harley showed up and she was hungover"

Helena dissolved back into her laughing fit, plopping herself back down on the couch. Dinah joined in again but this time it was obviously fake (obvious to anyone except for the ever oblivious Helena), as she didn't find anything particularly hilarious about it. Harley probably got hungover all the time. Maybe Helena wasn't used to it. For all she knew, people in Italy actually knew how to handle their wine and all those stereotypes she had heard over the years were false.

"Yeah", she said, in a somewhat patronizing tone, as if she were talking to a someone under the age of ten. "That, uh, that is pretty funny, babe. But is that really all? Harley was hungover?"

Helena shook her head while trying to calm down from laughter. "She was barely dressed. She had like underwear on, top and bottom. And her jacket on over that and that was it. I'm pretty sure that Harley bumped uglies last nights"

Dinah chuckled, sat down beside her Helena, and started rubbing her back. "I guess that is pretty funny but... Honey, just because you heard Harley use the phrase 'bump uglies' doesn't mean you have to."

Helena's laughing was beginning to slow down. "Yeah, but I want to. It's funny."

"It's not funny", said Dinah, shaking her head. "It's actually pretty gross"

Suddenly, Dinah heard a light ringing noise indicating that she had just gotten a text. She pulled her phone out to check it and then began laughing as hard as Helena was before. "What's so funny", asked Helena, like a curious child.

Dinah showed her her phone, revealing that Cassandra had just texted her a picture of Harley. More specifically, a picture of Harley, hungover and passed out in the backseat of a car, in the exact outfit that Helena had described. Now, Helena, who had finally calmed down just a few seconds earlier, was cackling yet again. They kept on laughing until Helena, without knowing it, placed her hand on Dinah's thigh. Suddenly, the two of them fell completely silent.

Helena was turning a shade of red. "So like..."

Dinah put on a sultry smile. "So..."

Helena rubbed the back of her neck and grinned sheepishly. Dinah leaned in closer and Helena slowly gravitated towards her. The space between them was getting shorter and hotter and they could feel their temperatures rising. The lips almost met... before they were once again interrupted by the loud sound of someone knocking at the door. The two of them pulled away from each other and groaned angrily. Helena stood up in a huff and picked up her crossbow that was sitting on the coffee table.

"Put it down", Dinah ordered.

Helena dropped it back on the table. "Fine. But if it happens one more time, I will use the crossbow"

She marched over to the door and threw it open, only to find Renee standing there. Due to her efforts to remain sober, Renee was slowly beginning to look less disheveled than she had before (Of course, she looked more disheveled than ever during the first few days due to withdrawal). Other than that, she usually looked about the same. Though this time, she was sporting a pair of sunglasses.

"You gonna invite me in", she asked, lowering the sunglasses to reveal her eyes. Dinah loudly stifled a laugh. "What's so funny?"

"I just didn't recognize you with a face", Helena snickered.

Renee rolled her eyes before hearing a loud excited "WHAT" Dinah ran into view, jumped onto the back of a giggling Helena and planted a large smooch on her cheeck. "That was a good one, babe!" She looked over and saw a tired-looking, exasperated Renee standing in the doorway. "Oh, hey", she said, jumping back down to the ground. "You wanna come in?"

"At least you got some manners, Canary", Renee said, as she walked in the house.

"Only when you're around", Dinah joked, as she and Helena walked back over to the couch.

Renee threw herself onto a chair, throwing off her sunglasses and rubbing her eyes. "First off, let me start by saying I'm sorry I didn't call last night. I actually dropped by your place to visit but you weren't there. I assumed you and Crossbow were having some..." She winked at the two of them. "Private time"

"Oh my god", Dinah groaned. 

"I don't get it", said Helena. "Was that a joke"

Dinah chuckled while Renee ignored her and continued. "Second, I just wanted to drop by and inform the two of you that I can't do whatever stakeout we were gonna do tonight. I actually got plans for once but, judging by all the nights I got sick, I think you two will be able o handle yourselves just fine"

"Not if that insane clown girl is there", Helena muttered, gripping Dinah's hand.

Dinah didn't say anything but she glanced back at Helena and gave her a look that said that everything would be fine. "So what's your plans for tonight? New girlfriend", she asked, getting excited.

Renee scoffed. "Quite the opposite" She reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a small piece of paper. "Invite from an ex"

She handed the invite to the two of them. Dinah thought it looked familiar but Helena instantly recognized it. "You got invited to Kate Kane's soiree too?"

"Too?"

"You're forgetting the part where Helena's still rich", said Dinah. "I guess that and her last name was enough to get her on the invite list"

Renee began to feel a weight slowly being lifted off her chest. "You, uh, you going? It'd sure be nice not to go through this shit show alone"

"NO!", Helena immediately blurted out, startling the other two. She took a deep breath and put on a smile. "I just", she began, calmly. "I just don't want to leave Dinah all alone"

Dinah looked at her, somewhat confused. "What are you talking about, babe?" She pointed at the invite. "It says right here that you can bring a plus one" Helena looked at her, confused as ever. Dinah sighed, lovingly. "That means you can bring me along as a guest"

Helena nodded with understanding but then shook her head. "I haven't done social gatherings... ever"

Dinah threw an arm around her. "Well, it's a good thing you got me tagging along"

Helena racked her brain around, trying to find an excuse. "Yeah, but... There's still criminals out there"

"She's right", Renee chimed in, hand raised. "Crime never rests so why should we?"

"Hey, 80's cop", said a somewhat impatient Dinah turning to Renee. "In case you haven't noticed, we're not the only crime-fighters in Gotham. There's Batman, Nightwing, Batwoma-" Dinah was cut off by the sound of Renee's loud groaning. "Something wrong?"

Renee realized that her groans were out loud. She had to play it cool. "I'm just... not a fan of Batwoman. So unoriginal. Can't come up with a more clever name? Jesus."

"Oooookay?"

Renee congratulated herself in her head. No one was suspecting a thing. Dinah was more focused on wanting Helena to feel comfortable. When she looked over, however, she could tell that Helena was piecing something together in her head. But before Dinah could ask, Helena turned to Renee, eyes wide, and asked:

"Is Kate Kane your ex?"

Dinah went completely slack-jawed. She was so caught up in trying to help Helena that she had completely ignored the elephant in the room. "You dated millionaire Kate Kane? Bruce Wayne's cousin, Kate Kane?"

Renee nodded in response. "It didn't end well. Let's just leave it at that. I think she only invited me so she can give me back a ring I left there a few years back"

"Wait", Helena added. "Won't there be drinks at this party?"

"Almost definitely"

"So what are you gonna do about that", asked Dinah.

"Well, I figured that if you two were there with me, th-"

Dinah didn't even let her finish. "WOO! Lady's night", she cheered, loudly.

Renee halfheartedly raised her fist in the air. "Lady's night", she said, nonchalantly.

Helena, however, remained silent. When the other two looked over at her and noticed that she was nervously rubbing her arm. "You promise you'll stay with me the whole night?"

"I promise", Dinah responded, smiling at her.

Dinah's smile felt warm and comforting and it was enough to convince Helena. "So... Lady's night?"

Dinah nodded. "Lady's night."

Dinah and Helena had already begun to stand out before they had even walked into Kate Kane's large mansion. For one, they didn't arrive in some fancy car driven by someone they're paying but instead on Helena's motorcycle. Dinah wore a dress that once belonged to her mother and Helena wore one that once belonged to hers. Dinah kept her hair the same she usually did when she was at work. As they entered, Dinah couldn't help but notice how Helena's hair seemed a bit frizzled from wearing her motorcycle helmet.

"Are you sure you don't want me to fix your hair", Dinah.

"Does it look all messy", she asked back.

Dinah shook her head. "It's fine. It's just... high society and all that."

"I was never apart of high society", she said, looking around at the sea of aristocrats. "I was a kid when my family was still around so I was just kept upstairs when they hosted parties. I've actually never been to a party."

She had completely frozen. Dinah couldn't really read her but she had the feeling that Helena was thinking of simply leaving the party. Dinah slowly enveloped Helena's hand with her own and Helena suddenly felt a wave of comfort. "Hey. I believe in you, okay? Just remember I'll be right here with you during all this"

Helena took a deep inhale. "Thank you", she sighed.

Suddenly, a voice from behind them caused Helena to jump even thought both of them recognized the voice. "Well, don't you two look all nice?"

The two of the them looked behind them to see Renee, looking dolled up and all dressed up in a suit and tie. "Damn, Montoya", Dinah exclaimed. "You look good!"

Helena was in dismay. "I didn't know you could wear a suit!"

Dinah chuckled at her girlfriend, discovering yet another gap of logic. "Women are allowed to wear suits, babe. Plus, take it from me." She looked at her from top to bottom. 'You would look fine as hell in a suit"

Helena grinned and turned a deep shade of vermilion. "Y- You're just saying that"

Renee began eyeballing Helena was well. A half-smile appeared on her face. "Nah, I'm picturing it and... Yeah, she's not wrong" Helena was turning even redder.

Dinah turned over to Renee. "So have you seen your mysterious ex yet?"

Renee scoffed. "Thankfully not. I'm glad you two are here or else I'd probably start drinking again as soon as I saw her"

Dinah let out a hushed laugh, so as not to draw attention to herself. "Don't worry. Helena and I will be beside you all night. Won't we, Helena?" Silence. Typical of Helena. Nothing to worry about. "Won't we, Helena?" Okay, maybe there was something to worry about. Dinah looked around her and Helena was nowhere to be found. This was definitely something to worry about. "Shit!", she whispered.

"She's not a child, songbird", said Renee, rolling her eyes. "She can take care of herself"

Dinah was looking around, panicking. "She's not a child but she's got terrible social skills and this is her first party! What if she gets overwhelmed and loses it?" She looked at Renee, almost as if she was asking for permission.

"Fine", Renee sighed. "Go look for her. But don't go away for too long. I need you, remember?"

Dinah nodded, thought it was ambiguous as to whether or not she was actually listening to what she was saying. She then walked away without saying a word, staring to search for Helena.

Renee took a sip of her non-alcoholic sparkling apple cider before she heard a familiar voice. "Nice suit, Renee" She nearly choked on her drink upon hearing the voice. She felt a hand plant itself on her shoulder. "Shit. Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you like that. Are you okay?"

Once Renee had cleared her throat, she looked up at the figure who the voice and hand belonged to. None other than Kate Kane. The red-haired millionaire stood there in an elegant cocktail glass, wine glass in her free hand. She looked to be taller than Dinah but shorter than Helena. Renee began to perspire. She hadn't seen Kate in a long time so she had forgotten how beautiful she looked. She tried to keep herself together, though. She wasn't gonna let herself be brought back into Kate Kane's world.

"Are you okay", Kate repeated.

"Huh?" Renee snapped back into focus. "Yeah, I'm fine. No worried. Just went down the wrong pipe is all" Renee returned to her glass. She tried not to look at Kate but, damn, it was hard.

"You look good", said Kate, clearly trying desperately to make conversation. "How's life been?"

"Recently, it's been less shitty", she sighed. "Trying to stop drinking, actually."

"That's great", Kate responded in an encouraging tone. "That's... That's something to be proud of. Have, uh... Have you been seeing anyone?"

Renee downed what was left of her drink and groaned. "Don't tell me you invited me here to see if I would take you back"

Kate clenched her fist but kept her smile on. She let out a scoff. "Of course not. You made it very, very clear that you didn't want that. I just needed to talk to you about a few things."

"This couldn't be done over the phone?"

"Well, for one, I need to give you back your ring. I was going through some old things recently and I found it. Figured you'd want it back"

"Is that everything?"

Kate shook her head. "This next part involves those friends of yours."

After a few minutes of searching, Helena was nowhere to be found. Dinah was growing more and more worried. For all she knew, Helena could have suffered an anxiety attack and fainted. Dinah knew that Helena wasn't anywhere in the ballroom so she began to look in other rooms throughout the mansion. About half the doors were locked is she decided to play i safe that they were always locked instead of assuming that Helena was the one that did it. After a few more minutes of searching, Dinah came across what looked to be one of many dining rooms and saw Helena sitting at the end of a long table. Helena's had her head down, resting it on her arms. As Dinah walked closer, however, the sound of her footsteps had alarmed Helena enough to get her to raise her head.

"Oh, hey", she muttered.

"What are you doing here", asked Dinah, half-concerned and half-upset.

Helena shrugged. "I had to go to the bathroom"

An exasperated Dinah rubbed her eyes. "That doesn't mean you can just wander off. Also, what are you doing just sitting here?"

"I panicked!", Helena abruptly responded. "Once I got out, I couldn't find you or Renee. Then I got lost in the crowd and everyone was looking at me all weird. So I just hid in a random room. I was too afraid to go back out. I... I'm sorry"

Dinah had switched back to sympathy. She pulled a chair over to Helena, sat beside her, then leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "When I was looking for you, everyone looked at be like I was an alien. I don't know if it was the way I look or my hair or how it looked like I didn't know where I was. But I don't think they expected to see a person li-" She stopped and sighed. It was hard to bring herself to finish. "A person like me at an event like this"

Water was building up in Helena's eyes. "I'm sorry"

"No, Helena. I'm sorry. I know how much you didn't want to go to this and I convinced you to do it anyway. From now on, I don't want to make you do something you don't wanna do. So in the future, we're not gonna do anything unless you agree. Okay?"

Helena smiled weakly. "Agreed"

"Okay, good", Dinah nodded, before giving Helena a passionate look. "So how about we find one of the bedrooms in this place and we..." She leaned over and whispered into Helena's ear. The longer Dinah went on, the wider Helena's eyes got. She backed away, smiling. "What do you say?"

A red Helena began to stammer before finally getting around to saying "Ye... Yeah. Yeah! Let's do that!"

As they got up to leave, however, the door flew open to reveal Renee and Kate as they walked in. "There you guys are", said Renee, seemingly exhausted. "Kate, this is Dinah and the tall one is Helena"

Helena and Dinah, however, were in a huge rush to leave. "Yeah, whatever. Hi, Kate. Anyway, Helena and I need to leave."

"Like right now!"

"Too late", said Renee. "You two promised to stick by me for the night, especially when Kate was around. So-"

Before Renee could finish, Helena decided to interrupt. "But we were gonna find a bedroom and-"

Dinah threw her hand over Helena's mouth. "Ha! That's my Helena! She's such a kidder! Anyway, why do you need us? Make it quick, though. Helena's feeling tired. We need some rest is all."

Renee was ready to bang her head against the wall. This was not the way she had wanted anything to go tonight. However, Kate had simply decided to go along with it. "Oh, if you lovebirds need a bedroom, I can help you with that"

Helena pried Dinah's hand off of her mouth. "You can?"

"Yeah", said Kate, in a half-truth. She pulled them along to a door before winking at Renee. Renee smiled as she followed the three of them. She forgot how clever Kate was. Clever and charming and beautiful and she smelled really good and- No. She wasn't gonna fall. Not again. As she entered the room, she noticed that Dinah and Helena were staring in awe at the king-sized bed.

"Now", Kate began. "This room can be yours for the night..." She pulled a key out of seemingly nowhere and handed it to Dinah. "But... Only if you follow me first."

"But..." Helena was beginning to sound desperate.

"Yeah", Renee chimed in. "She does stuff like this sometimes."

Kate elbowed a random spot on the wall, revealing itself to be a hidden door, which swung open. She gestured to the three to enter.

"Oh, gross", Dinah exclaimed. "Is this like a weird dungeon or something?"

As soon as she asked that, Renee and Kate burst out laughing. Helena had no idea what was going on or what anyone was talking about. She looked over at Dinah, but even she was none the wiser. Renee walked up to the two of them and put a hand on both their shoulders. "This is Birds of Prey business"

Their eyes went wide. "You told her", asked Helena, somewhat furiously.

"Told me", asked Kate. "That's a laugh. I figured it out on my own" She pointed at Helena. "Huntress." Then Dinah. "Black Canary." Then Renee. "And The Question."

Dinah and Helena started cackling. Renee, on the other hand, looked offended. "The fuck did you just call me? 'The Question'?"

"It goes well with the mask", Dinah cracked.

Kate shrugged. "That's what the papers called you. I just figured that you came up with it yourself"

"Well, I didn't come up with it", Renee spat. "It's dumb!"

"Can't be any dumber than not having a face"

Helena and Dinah began howling even louder. "I like her!", Helena exclaimed.

"Can she join the team", Dinah joked.

However, little did she know was that she wasn't exactly joking. Kate looked over at Renee. "Do I tell them now?" Renee gave her a look that basically tried to say that she could care less so Kate made her own choice. "Why don't you two take a peak at what's in this room", she asked Helena and Dinah once they were finally able to breathe.

The two of them did what was asked of them. They poked their heads into the dimly lit room. However, despite the darkness, they were able to see several weapons hanging on the wall and a black costume in a tank. The costume was complete with a red emblem and a cowl. As Kate closed the door, the two of them looked at her like she had just revealed herself to be a god.

"Guys", Renee began. "Allow me to introduce you to Kate Kane. Millionaire. My ex-girlfriend. And the Batwoman."

Everyone was silent, waiting for someone to say something. Anything. And then Helena broke the silence. "Ohhhhhhhh, so that's why Renee doesn't like the Batwoman! It's becau-" She stopped herself when Dinah gave her a slap on the arm. She looked over at Renee, who was giving her the stink eyes. Kate was turning almost as red as her hair, feeling slightly awkward.

"So", said Dinah, desperate to change the subject. "Why'd you call us all here?"

Kate swung the secret door shut and locked. She took a deep breath. She knew that she was about to ask a lot of them. "If it's okay with the three of you... I would like to join the Birds"

"What", the three of them said, simultaneously.

"Look", Kate started, hoping to explain herself a bit further. "I'm not asking you to make me a full-on member. I don't want to mess up whatever it is the three of you have but I think a lot of us vigilantes need to look out for each other. I'm really fine with being a corespondent or just teaming up occasionally. What I'm asking is for you to have my back and for me to have yours."

There was a silence among all of them. Helena wasn't the best at making decisions. She was more of a "shoot first, ask questions later"-type. She looked to the other two, thinking they would have the answers. Renee, however, had made up her mind. She was anxiously shaking her leg as she was sitting on the bed. She knew that she could speak up and end this. However, she knew that Dinah was the leader. It wasn't her place to make the final decision. Soon, everyone was looking at Dinah, who was contemplating the whole proposal in her head. It would be a good idea to have another member of the team. Plus, like Helena, Kate had money. But then she remembered that Kate and Renee had history together and that would make working together difficult. Her contemplation went on for so long that her head began to hurt.

"So", she asked as she rubbed her head. "Do you need an answer right now?"

"Oh... Uh, no", Kate responded. "I just wanted the three of you to hear my proposal."

"Well, the three of us need to have a discussion about it before we actually make a decision"

"Great"

"Yeah, that is great", Helena chimed in. "In fact..." She went over to Renee and got her to her feet, much to her dismay. "Dinah and I are actually going to talk about it right now. In private." She nudged Renee and Kate towards the door, despite Kate's stammering and Renee's resistance.

"Helena's right. She and I have A LOT to discuss" Dinah gave the two of them a final push out the door. "So we'll see you two tomorrow" Without warning, she slammed the door in their face and locked it.

The two of them stood there, speechless. "What just happened", asked Renee.

Kate shrugged, then smiled. "So they seem nice." Renee scoffed and then began to walk away, causing Kate's smile to fade. "Why don't you want me on the team", she called out.

Renee froze down in her tracks. She turned around to face Kate. "What did you just say?"

"I asked you why you don't want me on the team"

"I never said that I didn't want you on the team!"

Kate crossed her arms. "We dated for a few years. We've gotten to know each other pretty well. I like to think I can tell what you're trying to say."

Renee put her hands on her hips and scowled. "Fine. You got me. I don't want you on the team."

"Why?"

Renee groaned. She wasn't going to take any of this. "The fuck do you mean 'why'? You know why!"

Kate now looked furious. "Do I? Do I really know why? Are you mad because of something I did? Because I'm drawing a blank on what I did! But what I remember is that when your drinking first became a problem, I wanted to be there for you! The way it always was! And instead I wake up one morning and all I find is a note saying you're gone! A fucking note! The least you could've done was break up with me to my face like a normal person!"

Renee's scowl had faded away. In it's place was a look of anguish. She wanted to say something anything to Kate. But Kate was far from over.

"I loved you, Renee! I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you! I wanted to start a family with you! We were going to get through this together! Instead... you left me all alone. And you changed your number. I kept trying to get in touch with you. I wanted to help. And you cut me out entirely."

With that last bit, however, the anger slowly began to rise again inside of Renee. "Well, if you loved me so much then how come when I asked to take you back, you never returned my call?"

Renee could practically see the vein coming out of Kate's forehead. "Oh, did you mean the time you drunk-dialed me and asked for a one-night stand?"

And it was at that point when Renee realized that the glass had shattered. This whole time she was spiteful over Kate for this one detail and it was for nothing. It was another truth completely distorted by her constant drinking. All that was going around her head, other than the fact that this was definitely going to come up at the next AA meeting, was guilt. Guilt that she had something really special with this woman and she screwed the whole thing up. "I... I'm sorry" was all she could muster.

As Renee thought about all this, Kate had calmed down slightly. It was clear that she had wanted to say this for a long time and now that she had finally let it all out, she wasn't as angry. Her face went from furious to blank. "Look, I'm really happy that you're sober now and slightly happier that you're not a cop anymore. But if you don't want me to help you guys off. I'll back away." She took Renee's hand and placed the object from the dresser in her palm. "Your ring, as promised" She closed Renee's fingers. "It was good seeing you." And with that, she marched out of the dimly lit dining room, closing the door behind her.

As Renee slipped the ring onto her finger, she looked around her and realized one thing. She was all alone.


	4. Catwoman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley and Ivy try to recruit Selina Kyle, who has a run-in with a new and deadly criminal on the streets of Gotham.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
>  _Update:_   
>  **   
>  **Greetings, weary travelers! So, you've stumbled upon this fic. First off, I would very much appreciate it if you left feedback in the comments. Second off, I'm beginning to lose a bit of my drive for this story, and I don't want finishing it to feel like a chore. So instead, I'm taking a break from it to work on other writings. But if you have been enjoying this, then don't worry. I plan on finishing it when I get my momentum back. Thank you!**

There was only one thing left for Harley to do. Back in the day, it wasn't always just her and the Joker or her and Ivy. Whenever she and Ivy were in a jam, there was only other person they could count on. Selina Kyle. The Catwoman. Gotham's most skilled and elusive cat burglar. Back in the day, the three of them ruled the streets. They were the known as the Gotham City Sirens. If Harley really wanted to accomplish her plan, she had to find Selina.

There was just one small problem. Selina was perhaps a tad too elusive. It was incredibly difficult to track her down. She hardly trusted anyone with her location so trying to find her so finding her and asking if she wanted to join would be an extremely difficult task. Luckily, it's not like no one knew where she was. Harley's old friend, Holly Robinson, became Selina's apprentice after Selina liberated her and many others from a trafficking ring. Harley thought that if anyone would let her know, it would be Holly.

She thought wrong, of course. It turns out Holly was too loyal to Selina to just blurt out their location, meaning they were back at square one. Since Harley's lead didn't work out, it was time for Ivy to try her lead out. her lead was notorious criminal, Edward Nygma, known professionally as The Riddler. Ivy's first instinct was to give Edward a hypnotizing kiss to get him to talk. However, Edward, being the agent of chaos that he was, gladly gave out the location of Selina Kyle... in the form of a riddle, of course. He did however forget that Harley and Ivy both had a PhD and that the riddle wouldn't really be hard for either of them to solve.

So they found out she lived in a small and shabby apartment building in the south side of Gotham. They trudged all the way up to the first floor, when Cassandra tugged on Harley's hand. They were a few feet away from Ivy, who was standing right in front of the door.

"I'm not sure we should do this", Cassandra whispered to Harley.

Harley leaned down slightly so she could be at Cassandra's level. "Don't be silly, kid. Selina and I go way back."

"But... It's just that..." Cassandra kept fumbling her words, allowing Harley to figure out what was going on.

"Awwww", Harley began, somewhat mockingly. "Are you scared of the Cat?"

"No", Cassandra scoffed.

"I'm a trained therapist, honey. I can read you like an open book" Harley raised her eyebrows.

Cassandra knew she had been backed into a corner. "Ok! You're right! I am scared of her! She's one of the most legendary criminals in Gotham. Hell, I'm kinda scared of Ivy!"

"Oh, now why would you be scared of Ivy?"

"Because she's an eco-terrorist, Harley! She can manipulate plant life and shit! What if she thinks I'm annoying and she..." Cassandra titled her head and gestured her hand simulate the look of being hung by a noose.

"Psh", said Harley, bending her wrist. "Ivy loves me. That means she loves you too. And even if she didn't, she wouldn't think of hurting you."

"She's right", came Ivy's voice, surprising the other two. She slightly turned her head around and chuckled. "You two are horrible at whispering. Don't worry about Selina, kiddo. She grew up on the street and robbed her way to the top. She's basically you with a darker skin tone."

"That's not exactly like me", said Cassandra, defensively.

"She groans whenever we start making out", Harley chimed in.

"Yeah, that sounds like me"

Ivy chuckled again. "Harley, I don't know what this kid was thinking because I, for one, love her."

Cassandra grinned proudly before Ivy began pounding her fist on the door again. "God, what is taking so long. It feels like we've been standing here forever."

She was about to knock on the door again before the door swung open. Before they could have relief, Ivy was suddenly looking down the barrel of a shotgun, held by whoever was at the door.

"Holy fuck', Harley exclaimed.

"I was right", said Cassandra. "This was a bad idea"

Ivy threw her hands up in the air. "Let's not do anything rash, okay? Why don't you just put the gun down and we-"

The gun holder cut her off. "Who the fuck are you and what do you think you're doing he-" She paused before she could finish herself. The woman holding the gun stepped closer into view, revealing herself to be a woman in her early twenties with dirty blonde hair. When she got a good look at everyone, she lowered her gun and rolled her eyes once she recognized them. 

"Hello, Ivy", said Holly, somewhat passive-aggressively. Her voice got slightly more chipper when she said "Hey, Harley". She was silent for a few seconds before slamming the door in their faces. They would hear indistinct voices from the other side of the door before Holly opened the door again. "She said you guys can come in." Ivy walked in but before Harley could do the same, she realized that Cassandra has frozen in place.

"I don't really think I should go in there"

Harley sighed. "Fine. I won't force you to go in there. In fact..." She looked around her. "Uh... Holly will take care of you!"

"Hell no!"

"Why not", asked Holly, jokingly.

"You were gonna shoot me!"

"I wasn't gonna shoot you! You're, like, twelve"

"I'm thirteen!"

"Thirteen! I'm not gonna shoot a thirteen-year-old."

"Yeah", said Harley. "That's how they get ya." She turned back to Cassandra. "Look, I just need ya to trust me, okay?"

"Okay", Cassandra replied. As they entered the apartment, Harley could hear Cassandra mumbling curse words under her breath.

"Kid, I know you're still a bit of a wuss that needs to hold my hand. But you're thirteen now. You can swear out loud"

The apartment looked like an old woman's antique store. The place itself look old and shabby but was filled with so many expensive and shiny material items. They could only assume that half of them were stolen.

"Is that a whip", asked Cassandra, pointing to the whip hanging on the wall.

"That's her Catwoman whip", Holly silently answered. "It's very important. Please do not touch it."

They walked over to the living room. There, sitting in a very comfortable armchair in the middle of the room, was Selina Kyle. She was in a casual wear, yet somehow still looked better than everyone else in the room. 

"Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy", she said, in a light tone. "How long it's been" She pointed at Ivy. "Still don't wanna be called Pam?"

"No one calls me Pam", said Ivy, sternly. "Or else I force feed them Rosary Peas"

"Well, that doesn't sound so bad", said Harley, in her usual chipper tone.

"They're poisonous"

"Oh"

"Noted", said Selina. "Have a seat. You too, kid." Harley and Ivy did as asked but Cassandra, ready to go into fight or flight mode, chose to stand. "Or don't. Whatever you want. What's your story anyway? Why are you hanging around these two?"

Cassandra doesn't say a word, too nervous to reply. "She'd rather not say", said Harley, reading the look on Cassandra's face. 

"C'mon, kid", Selina prodded. "We've all got stories about why we're here. Spill the beans."

Halley looked over at Cassandra. "What do you say?" Cassandra, avoiding eye contact with everyone except Harley, shook her head.

"Can I at least have the short version?"

"Ooh", Harley exclaimed. "Can I tell it?" Cassandra nodded. "Roman Sionis", she said to Selina.

"No way", Selina blurted. "You were part of that?"

Ivy looked just as surprised as Selena was. "This is my first time hearing about this too."

"Kid, you sound like a certified badass. The fact that you're even alive right now is a call for celebration. Holly!"

Holly stepped out of the kitchen and poked her head into the room. "A round of drinks for everyone except the kid! You can get something too"

"Eh", Harley shrugged. "It's too early for drinks."

"Same here", said Ivy.

"I'd like some", Cassandra said loudly, finally talking.

"Actually, scratch the drinks', said Selina. "But you can go get one"

"Actually, I was gonna go home now", said Holly. "If that's okay with you, Selina."

"Sure thing. Say hi to Karon for me, Honey."

"Woah woah woah", Harley interjected. "Who's Karon?"

"Karon's my girlfriend", Holly explained. "I live with her."

Harley went slack jawed, prompting Ivy and Cassandra to snicker at her. You didn't tell me you have a girlfriend!"

"You barely text me anymore!"

"Maybe I would if you told me you had a girlfriend!"

"Whatever. I'll see you tomorrow, Selina" And with that, she walked out the door.

"What a charmer", Selina sighed. "I love her" She turned to her three guests. "So what's this all about?"

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat", Harley squealed. "Can't we just say hi to our old gal pal?"

"She's not gullible", said Ivy. "If anything, she's smarter than than you."

"And you", said Selina, pointing at Ivy.

"Don't get cocky."

"You know it's true"

"The point is", Ivy said in a loud in commanding tone. "You know we're not hear to play catch-up. You know we need your help for something."

"Of course", Selina sighed. "It's never that simple when you two are involved. So what's the job?"

Harley leaned in closer, as if she was about to say something scandalous. "We need your help killing the Joker"

There wasn't even a seconds-worth of silence between Harley's proposal and Selina's response. She didn't even hesitate to answer. "Pass"

"Pass?", asked Harley and Ivy, simultaneously.

"Well, she doesn't want to do it!", Cassandra suddenly shouted. She shot to her feet. "We should probably get going and-"

"Sit down, kid", Harley instructed. "We're not done here"

"What do you mean 'Pass'", asked Ivy.

"I mean I'm not dumb enough to try and take down one of the biggest crime lords in Gotham City", said Selina, somewhat condescendingly. 

Ivy furrowed her brow. "Are you saying I'm dumb?"

Selina chuckled. "You're not dumb, honey. You're on a whole other level. You're going along with all this because the two of you are..." She didn't finish her sentence but instead winked at them. "You know what I'm talking about."

Ivy rolled her eyes while Harley, clueless as to what was going on, tapped her foot, anticipating an answer. "Because we're what?"

"Because you're bumping uglies", said Cassandra, flatly.

Ivy and Selina let out a loud laugh. "I'm so happy you taught her that phrase"

Harley bitterly ignored them. "Ivy didn't just decide to help me because we're back together! Right, Ivy?" They all looked over at Ivy, who shook her head, confirming Selina's theory. Harley leaned over to Ivy and whispered "Would you maybe let me and Selina-"

"No"

"Okay."

"Anyway", Selina said loudly. "I'd rather lay low is what I'm saying. Now if you want to stay for drinks, you can if you don't talk business. Otherwise..." She pointed at the door with her thumb.

Harley sighed and placed a hand on Cassandra'ck. "Let's get you home kid."

The three of them stood up to leave, looking defeated. "Maybe I can threaten those shitty foster parents of yours", Ivy joked. She went up to Selina and handed her a small piece of paper. "This is my number. In case you change your mind."

The three of them opened the door but before they could leave, Harley noticed something lying in a glass case sitting on the mantelpiece. "Is that a joy buzzer?"

"Oh, that thing", said Selina, standing up from her chair and walking over to the mantelpiece. "That's apparently Joker's prized joy buzzer. He used it to fry the mob boss he was working for when he was first getting started"

"Yeah. I know the story. I dated that fucker for years. What is it doing here?"

"Isn't it obvious", came Ivy's voice. "She stole it."

"Respect", muttered Cassandra.

"You stole the Joker's prized joy buzzer", asked Harley, whose eyes were almost bulging out her skull like an old-school cartoon character.

"Hell yeah I did", Selina responded, pride evident in her tone. "And I'm gonna sell it to the highest bidder"

"SELINA!"

"Oh, please! It's just a joy buzzer. He can get another one. What's the worst that could happen?"

It was a long walk back to her apartment but Holly made in back in no time flat. Of course, she had walked down this path so many times that she had pretty much begun to feel numb to the whole experience. She didn't always have the apartment. When Selina saved her, she let her stay at her apartment. But then, Holly met Karon. Beautiful, pink-haired, intelligent, charming Karon. They ended up moving in with each other into a small but humble apartment with one bedroom after only a few dates. It was a classic lesbian U-Haul love story.

Holly was all tuckered out but, as she walked up the stairs, she knew that she would have to force herself to stay awake. She knew Karon wouldn't even be a fraction as tired as she was and that alone was enough to keep her awake. She wasn't looking when she first walked into her apartment. "Hey, babe", she called out, hanging her coat up. "It's okay if you've already eaten. I'm not that hungry." When she turned around and walked through the narrow entryway, she couldn't help but notice the eerie silence. Karon usually greeted her upon arrival. "Babe!" There was no reason for concern. She was probably just in the bathroom. That was what she told herself at least. But Holly's past experiences meant that she was always cautious and uneasy whenever the smallest little detail was off. She took small steps from the door to the living room. She was shaking like a leaf and sweating so much that it nearly went through her shirt. As she turned the corner to her living room, she completely froze in her tracks and nearly screamed at what she saw. Karon was standing in the middle of the room... and a taller woman with light clown makeup on her cheeks and nose had her arm around her and a knife up to her throat.

The tall woman could tell that Holly was about to scream so she let out a prolonged. "Shhhhhhhhh" Holly reached into her pocket for her snubnosed revolver but the tall woman pushed the knife closed into Karon's throat without puncturing any skin. "Uh-uh-uh", the tall woman said in a hushed voice. Karon gasped for her as tear marks slid down her face. She kept trying to say something but all she could do was wince.

"Hands in the air", said the woman. "Or she dies" The woman's voice was light, slightly high-pitched, and slow.

"What do you want", Holly spat at her as tears filled her eyes.

"Your boss stole something valuable from the Joker. Tell me where I can find her or I slice her pretty little neck open."

Holly put her hands in the air as instructed. She stood there for what felt like the longest second of her life. Looking at Karon in danger made her blood boil. She clenched her fists together in anger. Her first thought was that she couldn't let slip Selina's location. She could never betray Selina. Not after all she's done for her. But then she looked at Karon. The best thing to ever happen to her. If she didn't share Selina's location, then Karon would die right in front of her. She couldn't lose her. She couldn't lose anyone anymore.

"Okay!", she shouted. "I... I'll... I'll tel yo where you can find the Catwoman."

The woman didn't put down the knife but let out a slight but creepy smiled. She stood there, listening intently for the answer. "Where is she?"

Holly opened her mouth but, without warning, the woman's hand was hit by an unseen whip, causing her to drop the knife. As she yelled in pain, Karon ran over to Holly, who reached for her revolver. The three of them looked over to see where the whip had come from. And there she was. Standing before an open window was Selina Kyle all decked out in her Catwoman gear. "I'm right here"

The woman lunged at at Selina but she kept at her at bay as long as she could with the whip. However, it could only do so much. After a while, the woman was finally able to tackle Selina to the floor. The two continue to tussle with each other with their matched strength. However, the tall woman managed to overpower Selina, who was lying on the floor while the other other knelt over her and began to strangle her.

However, the tall woman had made the mistake of letting her guard down. A loud _bang_ sound rang out and suddenly the woman felt a white hot, searing pain in her shoulder. While she was overpowering Selina, she had completely forgotten that Holly and Karon were still there. Holly had managed to pull out her revolver and had managed to get a clear shot at the woman. 

The woman clutched her shoulder, groaning in pain. She turned to Holly and Karon, red hot fury on her face. She was practically seething with rage. She let out a loud and furious screech that sounded as if it were coming from an otherworldly creature and she charged towards them. Karon flinched in fear. Holly pointed the gun at the woman and cocked back the hammer on the back of the revolver. However, before she could pull the trigger and before the woman could collide with them, Selina had managed to get to her feet and lunge at the woman. They collided and Selina managed to push the woman and herself out the window. Out of shock, Holly dropped her revolver and screamed. She ran towards the window, hoping that by some miracle, Selina was okay.

Fortunately, Selina had managed to grab hold of the window ledge. The tall woman was nowhere to be found. Holly and Karon's apartment was only on the third floor so they weren't that high up. She looked around and the woman was nowhere in sight. She had completely vanished.

"A little help here", Selina called.

"Right, sorry", said Holly. She turned her head around and called out to Karon. "Babe! Help me get her in!"

Karon ran over to the window. The two of them each grabbed Selina's wrist and used all their strength to pull her back into the apartment and then they shut the window.

Once Selina was back on her feet, Holly began to sob and threw her arms on Selina. "Selina! I'm sorry! I wasn't gonna... I mean, I shouldn't have..."

Selina remained calm and collected but she still returned Holly's hug. "It's okay, Honey. I understand." She turned to Karon. "How you doing, honey? You okay?"

Karon hesistated to answer but nodded weakly. "Who was that", she asked. Holly let go of Selina and walked back over to her girlfriend, ready for Selina's answer.

Selina raised her goggles to reveal her eyes. "That was Punchline. She's the Joker's new right-hand woman. No one knows who she is or how she got to be in that position. All anyone knows is that she's one of the craziest and deadliest killers in Gotham City. A perfect match for the Joker."

"What are we gonna do", asked Holly, one arm around Karon while she used her free hand to wipe her eyes.

Selina didn't hesitate to answer. "There's no way you two can stay here. For now at least. But staying at my place isn't a good idea either. Don't worry, though. I know some people. I'm gonna get you two to a safe house."

"You're not gonna asked the Riddler, are you?"

Selina scoffed. "No. I need someone who won't give out your location in anyway, shape or form. I'll get my gal on the phone right now"

Selina turned around and pulled out her phone. But before she could call someone to get Holly and Karon to a safe house, Selina put in the phone number Ivy had given her. Selina wouldn't have cared so much if Punchline had simply gone after her. She was used to everyone in Gotham going after her. But then the Joker sent someone after her friends and that was a line that no one could ever cross. Which was why she sent Ivy a text.

_"I'm in"_


	5. The Question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renee has a moment of reflection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I just wanted to say thanks to all of you who left encouraging messages the last time I posted. I recently decided that it was time for me to attempt to finish this story off, especially since I'm not even halfway done. However, I must warn y'all that this doesn't necessarily mean a new chapter will be up every week. I go at my own pace and I have a lot going on in my life. Still, you guys waited for four months so I trust that you can be patient in terms of updates. Thank you! Enjoy!
> 
> **COMMENTS AND FEEDBACK ARE GREATLY APPRICIATED**

In the following days, Renee kept staring at the ring on her finger. She had taken it off or even tried to throw it away. But no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get rid of it and it also ended up back on her finger. It felt like her last remaining connection to another life. A better life. She would be lying to herself if she said that she doesn't look back fondly on the old days. Well, not everything from the old days. She was naïve enough to think that she would actually make a difference as a cop. Or be recognized for her good deeds when she was a cop. Or thinking that being a cop was a good idea in the first place. In fact, the only thing she really reminisced about was her time with Kate. And judging from what she head the other night, Kate genuinely thought they had a future together. And she lost it.

She was so distracted by the thoughts in her head that she had completely blacked out. Meaning she had no idea that she had gone to an old wardrobe, unlocked it, and pulled out a bottle of gin. It wasn't until she came to her senses did she notice that she was carrying the bottle. She wasn't shocked by the fact that she was holding it but she wasn't exactly thrilled she had it. She had been sober for a little over a month now. It was the most progress that she had made in years. And yet, here she was. Feeling like complete shit and holding a bottle of gin in her hand.

As she held the bottle, she began to grow dizzy and her head began to feel numb. She was snapped out of her trance by a singular voice.

“Hey, Renee”, Dinah called out. “Your door’s unlocked. Everything okay?”

Dinah was already nervous that the ever-cautious and closed off Renee had not locked her door. But even she was not prepared for what she saw. Renee sat at the able, holding an open bottle of gin, and staring blankly at Dinah.

"Renee", Dinah started, in a low cautious tone. "Put down the bottle"

Renee still felt a bit dazed. "I don't think I should', she mumbled, lifelessly.

"Renee... You've been sober for over a month. Let's just put take a deep breath and-"

"I d... I... I don't think I should" She lifted the bottle slowly closer to her lips.

Suddenly, Dinah placed her fingers on the opening of the bottle. "Put. It. Down.", she said, sternly. She placed her hands on the bottle and tried to pull it away, but Renee gripped the bottle tighter.

After taking a beat, Renee looked back at Dinah, with a mixed look of fear and fury in her eyes. "No", she demanded, as she tried to pull the bottle away from Dinah. But Dinah’s grip was stronger and she managed yank the bottle away from Renee’s hands, gin splashing on the floor. 

The moment the bottle was taken away was the moment that something snapped within Renee. She fell to the floor, wrapped herself, and broke down crying.

"Oh, shit! Renee!" 

Dinah got down on her knees, put her arms around Renee, and lifted her so that she was sitting upward.

"There, there", she said, comfortingly. She started stroking Renee's hair but was confused as to how to tend to here. She had never seen Renee like this so she simply chose to comfort her, as she would everyone else. "Is this okay", she asked.

She could feel Renee nod. Renee was too breathless to speak or even cry anymore. Nodding was all she could do.

After Renee had finally ceased to weep, she sat, hollow, beside her kitchen cabinet while Dinah cleaned up the gin off the floor. Not wanting to just quietly sit there, Renee chose to explain the situation to Dinah. How she descended into drinking, how she walked out on Kate, and how Kate finally let her have it the other night.

"That sucks."

Renee was perplexed. "That's all you gotta say about this?"

"I dunno! You never open up. You just kinda roll your eyes, smoke, and punch someone"

Renee shrugged. "That's fair."

When she finished wiping up the mess, Dinah sighed as she sat beside Renee. "I'm sorry. That was kinda mean."

Renee brushed it off. "No sweat. It's not like you're wrong." She mumbled to herself, "I deserve it anyway".

Dinah managed to catch what she said. "Hey, don't say that. You don't deserve anything bad."

Renee rolled her eyes. "C'mon, Canary. I had one good thing in my life and I threw her away like three-day-old sushi. The other night, she tried to extend an olive branch and I rejected her." Distraught, she pulled out a cigarette and a lighter and began smoking to numb the pain.

"Do you'll ever get another chance", Dinah asked, trying to stand the smell of the smoke.

"Maybe. But I definitely know that we'll be seeing her again. Know how?" Dinah shook her head. She lifted up her hand, showing off the ring that Kate had returned to her. "I'm pretty sure there's a tracking device in this ring."

Dinah scoffed, trying to hide her amusement. "You're paranoid, Renee."

"My ex is a crime-fighting millionaire with a Master's degree in engineering."

"What, do you think she's gonna try to stalk you?"

"No! She said she wants to help out the Birds. I bet you that she's using a tracking device to figure out where the Birds are going next so she can join us."

"Well, if you're so worried about her figuring out where we are, why don't you just throw away the ring?"

Renee opened her mouth to say something but then closed it before she even made a sound. She chose to stay silent. Dinah, however, could read her like an open book. She smiled, slyly. "I see what's going on here", she teased.

"Nothing's going on", Renee lied. 

"You WANT Kate to come find us, don't you?"

"That's not true!"

"You're right. That wasn't true. You want Kate to come find YOU, don't you?"

Renee found herself turning red. She was unable to admit the truth that, yes, Dinah was right and she was indeed waiting for Kate to show up so she could finally tell her how she really feels. She was embarrasses to say it out loud because, when she really thought about it, the whole thing sounded like a dumb high school plot. So instead of doing any of that, Renee did was she does best - deflect. 

"Why are you even here, Canary?"

Dinah snapped back to reality. She had been so enveloped with what was happening with Renee that she had completely forgotten why she had even come in the first place.

"So last night, Helena and I were talking. And she said that she really wanted to go after Joker because of what her new henchwoman did to me. And I told her we shouldn't. For now, at least. It's way too early to do anything, right?"

"Yeah."

"So she promised that we wouldn't go after the Joker until we were all ready. You included, obviously. And so I woke up this morning and she wasn't there. So naturally, I thought she went home. But then, I went over to her place and she wasn't there. She wasn't responding to any of my calls so I called you to see if you saw her but then you didn't respond."

Renee was only half-listening, as she was still looking at her old ring. "Sorry, this morning was kind of a blur. But, even then, I haven't seen Helena since the party" She looked back up at Dinah, whose eyes were wide. "What is it?"

Dinah was internally screaming, out of fear and anger. "Shit... I know where she is."

Ivy was there to greet Selina at the door as she entered her abandoned, yet still lush, greenhouse.

"Hello, Miss Kitka", Ivy teased in her thick, tantalizing accent. "Welcome to my place. Fair warning, though. If I see as much as you picking a leaf off, I won't hesitate to kill you."

"I wouldn't expect any less"

Selina entered, careful not to step on any vines, so as not to take any chances in pissing off Ivy.

"Just so you know, Kitka..." Selina was so busy trying to figure out how Ivy had even come up with that nickname that she almost missed what she had to say next. "It's no longer just the three of us."

"Yeah, I know. The kid-"

"No, not even just the kid anymore. Though, I guess they know her."

The two turned a corner to see Harley sitting in a chair that looked like a throne made completely out of vines. Cassandra was leaning against the chair, excitedly conversing with a third figure. A tall, slender figure sporting a black eye mask, a black and purple jacket, and a crossbow.

Harley looked over and saw the two of them enter the room. "Kitty!" She lept out of the throne and jumped into the shorter woman's arms. "I knew we'd be persuasive enough."

"I mean, if anyone persuaded me, it was Punchline by trying to kill my friends but, sure, let's just go with what you said"

Harley's chesire grin faded away for a brief moment. "Is Holly okay?" Selina nodded and Harley's grin reappeared. "Okay!"

Helena nervously shuffled over to the Sirens. She was too nervous to say anything so she awkwardly raised her hand like it was a frozen wave."

"So, Harley", Selina started. "Who is this?"

"And is she single", Ivy asked, winking at Helena.

Helena awkwardly tucked her hair behind her ears as she turned the color of Ivy's hair. She felt a bit uncomfortable, while also feeling a bit flattered by Ivy's infatuation. 

"Sorry, toots", said Harley, speaking for Helena. "She's taken..." Harley put an arm around the taller woman. "...by yours truly." And now, Helena was just annoyed.

"That's not true", Cassandra interjected, sticking her head in. "She has a girlfriend. They helped Harley save me from Roman."

Harley begrudgingly removed her arm from Helena. "Fine. The kid's right. She's got a gal. And Punchline laid hands on her."

"She made me promise not to go after Joker with her", Helena finally said. "So I'm doing it without her. That way she won't be hurt again."

"What do you know? It speaks", Ivy joked.

Selina looked quizzingly at Helena, almost as if she was studying her. "So what you're saying is... Joker and his crazy new girlfriend hurt someone you love... And now you wanna kill them?"

Helena gripped her crossbow. "Yeah"

Selina smiled and patted her on the shoulder. "Oh, I think we're gonna get along just fine."

Helena awkwardly smiled. "Okay!"


	6. Joker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Birds, the Sirens, and Batwoman are all in the wrong place at the right time to take on the clown prince of crime.

Later that night, The Sirens and Helena were in Selina's old van, driving to what they told was the Joker's location - An abandoned toy factory, Fleck's Toys.

Harley stared in disgust at a hamper filled with old clothes, sitting in the seat beside her. "Are ya sure there wasn't a better car that we coulda taken, Selina?"

"No, Harley. I'm not sure. Because this wasn't the nicest. But I don't think we should be driving up to a hideout of the most dangerous criminal in Gotham in a god damn Lamborghini"

"Ok. Damn."

"So how do you even know the Joker is gonna be at this place", asked Helena.

"The Riddler. He'll give away anything if ya figure out whatever the hell he's saying." Harley tapped the side of her head. "Unless you're smart"

"More like an idiot savant", Selina remarked.

Helena chuckled. She was starting to think that she liked Selina the best out of the sirens.

"Wait, Harley", she asked. "Wouldn't you know where the Joker is?"

"Nah. That shithead changes locations all the time so the stupid Bat won't find him." Selina cringed a bit upon hearing Selina insult the Batman. Only she was allowed to do that.

"Wouldn't he be in Axis?"

"What?"

"Axis. You said that was where it all started for you guys."

Harley cackled. "Yeah, right. I blew it up!"

"Good for you", Ivy said, impressed. She noticed a slight twinge of sadness on Harley's face. As if the very mention of Axis Chemicals was enough to trigger some unpleasant memories. it She didn't like seeing her sad, even if she was still a little ticked at her. "Hey. Forget that place. Remember where we first met?"

Harley smiled. "Yeah", she said, nostalgically. "Arkham." She sighed, staring longingly at Ivy. Ivy nudged a bit closer to Harley, who put her head on Ivy's shoulder. "When Arkham assigned me to be your psychiatrist, I never would have guessed that I'd be be sitting here with you."

Helena, who had been admirably watching the two of them, snapped out out of her trance. "Wait, you're a psychiatrist."

"Yes."

She couldn't believe it. "She was a psychiatrist", she asked Ivy.

"Yeah", said Ivy, amused. "I wouldn't believe me either."

"We're here", Selina interrupted. She slammed on the breaks, causing them to almost fly out of their seats and the hamper to tip over, where the clothes-and Cassandra-fell out. Harley was not too happy about it.

"What are ya doin' here, kid?"

Cassandra was nervous, backed into a corner, but still chose to stand her ground. "I want to help kill the Joker, too!"

"Um... NO! Mr. J's gonna kill you!"

"I helped you guys take down Roman!"

"And ya almost died!"

"But I didn't!"

"BUT YA ALMOST DID!"

"I went through the same thing with Holly", Selina mumbled.

"I don't care if I'm your apprentice! I don't have to listen to EVERYTHING you say! It's not like you're my mom or anything!"

And now Harley was mad. "You're staying here!"

"No! I'm not!"

"Back me up, Red" Ivy stayed silent. She'd rather not get drawn into it. And Harley could tell. "Back me up, H"

Helena would have also liked to not gotten involved but she felt as if she had to respond anyway. "Harley's right."

"What!?"

"There's a lot that you can do. But you're just a kid. You've got a whole life ahead of you. You shouldn't ri-"

"So just because YOUR family is dead, I can't do anything"

Cassandra may have been mad before but as soon as she said those words to Helena, she wished that she could take them back. Her heart broke upon seeing the look on Helena's face and there was a prolonged and uncomfortable silence in the van.

"Helena, I'm sorry. I-"

"We should go"

She threw the van doors open, already regretting the entire situation and wanting to leave. But once they were open, she saw Renee and DInah standing anxiously in front of her. Renee looked tired and Dinah looked furious. Helena slammed the van door shut.

"We should not go."

"Was that the girls", said Harley, having perked up upon seeing the two of them. "Are they here too? Ooh, worlds collide! This'll be so much fun!"

"Who was the dirty blonde", asked Ivy, in awe. "Because... Wow. You are one lucky woman." She took another good look at Helena. "Actually, now that I've seen you both, I'd say she's lucky too."

"That's my girlfriend", Helena sighed. She turned to Harley. "I'm gonna need a minute."

She reopened the door, and hopped out, while Renee entered the van and slammed the door shut, desperate not to be a part of their lover's quarrel. 

"Hello, Harley" Harley waved, ecstatically. "Cassandra." Cassandra lifted her hand, half-heartedly. Renee looked towards the driver's seat. "Selina."

"Hello, Renee."

"The two of ya know each other?"

"I tried to arrest her once."

"You still a cop". asked Selina.

"Fuck no"

"Then, let's call it a truce"

"Still a drunk", Harley joked.

"I've actually been sober for over a month now."

Harley put her hand to her chest. "Awwwww, ya have? I'm so proud of you!"

"Thanks, Harley... Now stop hugging me"

Outside the van, Dinah was letting Helena have it. She wasn't holding back and Helena was feeling smaller and smaller. "How could you lie to me!?"

"I mean, you said WE should go after Joker together. So that means that individually, I-"

"Oh, don't play dumb!"

"I just can't read social cues. You know that."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you're an idiot! You deliberately tried to use a loophole on me!"

"Look, I'm sorry I lied to you! But you almost died last time! I was trying to stop that from happening again!"

"Well, what if you almost die!"

"I don't care!"

"Why not!?"

"Because I've seen too many people I love die!"

Dinah froze. She knew that Helena was doing this for her but even this was the last thing that she expected to hear. At least, if she was hearing it correctly.

"So what you're saying is..."

"I love you, Dinah"

"...Okay"

"Okay? That's it?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"Do you love me?"

Dinah was afraid now that she was put on the spot. She could see the desperation in Helena's eyes. She wanted to grab her and tell her that she loved her. But she was afraid. So she didn't do that.

"We need to go"

She reached out for Helena's hand but Helena, her eyes welling, ran desperately into the factory.

Dinah was furious with herself. She was also a bit upset with Helena because she was running into the factory and was about to get herself killed. But she was more upset with herself, knowing that Helena was doing because Dinah didn't have the courage to say how she felt. She pounded her fist again the van in anger, leading to the gang opening the door. 

"What happened", asked Renee.

"I fucked things up with Helena and she just ran into the factory for no reason". She plopped herself on the ground and leaned against a wheel, defeated.

The sirens, on the other hand, had no time for sympathy. "Shit", Selina exclaimed. "She's gonna give us away."

Selina and Ivy ran out of the van, desperate to stop her from doing anything rash. Renee patted Dinah on the shoulder. "I'm gonna make sure she's okay"

She put on her brass knuckles and put her hand on her gun and trailed behind them. To Dinah's surprise, however, the usually exuberant Harley Quinn was still in the van. She turned to Cassandra, still ashamed. 

"I'll stay hidden in the van", she conceded. 

"Good!" Harley handed her a baseball bat painted with large red letters saying "GOOD" along it. "Stay armed"

And as soon as Cassandra conceded, Harley was back to her old self. The grinning jester extended a hand to Dinah and pulled her up once she took it. Dinah found her grin oddly comforting if not a little creepy and to her surprise, Harley gave her a large smooch on the cheek. "For what it's worth, you two are my favorite couple."

"Thanks, Harley" With that, the two of them ran into the factory as Cassandra slammed the van door shut.

"So what's the plan", asked Dinah, when she and Harley caught up with the rest of them.

Ivy turned to her and Renee, her eyes fraught with suspicion. "Are we just letting these two goody-goodies be a part of the operation?"

"I'm just trying to save my girl", said Dinah.

"Besides", Renee added, with a bitter tone in her voice. "Don't you think you'll need all the help you can get when taking down the greatest crime boss in Gotham?"

Ivy wasn't swayed until Harley tapped her on the shoulder. She saw that Harley was sporting large, sad puppy dog eyes. "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease, Red? They're my friends" Harley's eyes got bigger and bigger. Ivy was so overwhelmed that she gave Harley a quick peck just to throw her off.

"Fine, Harley. I will give them a pass."

Harley blushed and turned to the Birds. "She loves me", she whispered, gleefully. 

Renee ignored her. "So what's the plan?"

"Well", Selina began. "Our plan WAS going to be Harley goes to Joker on her hands and knees and begs him to take her back and while the two of them were grabbing the guard's attention with their lover's spat, the rest of us would get the drop on 'em. But Blondie's girlfriend just ran in and ruined the whole thing." Dinah was too distraught to think of any sort of comeback to what Selina had to say. Instead, Renee spoke for her.

"Well, if she ruined the plan, how come I don't hear anything?" 

Ivy lit up in realization. "She's right. I don't hear anything. Maybe we can still pull it off"

Some of the others weren't as optimistic. "Unless they already got to her", joked the ever-macabre Harley. But her joke triggered something within Dinah. Did they already get to Helena? Was it all her fault? With the questions running through her head, she rounded the corner and ran into the main room of the factory. 

"Well, fuck pulling it off then. Harley, who are these people?"

"Renee", said Selina, not even looking at her. "I swear to god, if you run in there..."

"Don't worry. I'm way too sober."

Renee's attempt to add some levity to the situation was short lived when they heard Dinah calling for them "Guys... You need to come look at this."

There were sounds of panic and worry in her voice. The rest of them got to their feet, uneasy. Renee and Harley were especially nervous. They rounded the corner and saw Dinah standing there, completely frozen.

This was the main room in the factory. There were conveyer belts all over the place. There were very little toys left due to the factory's abandonment. However, they saw one small clown doll sitting on a conveyer belt. Sprawled across the floor were several bodies, very obviously goons of the clown prince of crime. The bloody corpses all had arrows sticking out of them. The work of Helena, no doubt. But in the center of the room, they saw what had made Dinah freeze. There, Punchline stood, point a gun to a beaten and bruised Helena's temple. 

"Ah-ah-ah. Not another step", she commanded. "One more step and the little birdie gets it."

Selina looked over to Ivy. The two of them didn't say a word to each other but Selina had a look on her face that was clearly saying 'Let's risk it'. She didn't mind Helena. But she didn't know her that well, either. She wasn't someone she was afraid to lose. Ivy shared a look of agreement but, despite being an infamous cat burglar, Selina was loyal to her girls. Ivy noticed Selina's eyes gesture towards Harley. Ivy looked back at her girl and saw genuine panic in her eyes. Whatever eccentric presence Harley put on was gone now. It was clear that she genuinely considered Helena to be a friend and she could not stand to lose anyone she thought she was close with. Ivy looked back and Selina and shook her head. Selina nodded in understanding, as she knew that this wasn't in play.

Dinah opened her mouth to say something but Punchine hit Helena on the back of her head with the butt of her gun. "Keep your god damn mouth shut" She knew what Dinah was capable of. She pointed the gun at Renee. "You. Faceless. Keep her mouth shut." Renee slapped her hand over Dinah's mouth.

She pointed the gun back at Helena. "You've all been a real thorn in my side. But-" She waved the gun at all of them, as if she was deciding which one she wanted to off. "But there's only a few of you Mr. J actually gives a shit about" Harley gripped her fists upon hearing the tall woman utter the words 'Mr. J'. But then Harley found the gun pointed at her. "But he wants you the most"

Everyone was absolutely bewildered, even Harley. "Me? He threw me to the ground!"

Punchline pressed the gun further against the unconscious Helena. "Well, you know what? She'll be dead on the ground soon enough if you don't come over here right now!"

Harley looked over at and Renee and Dinah, who were watching her desperately. Harley gave them a slight nod, signifying that for once in her life, she was going to do the right thing. But, as usual it was never that easy when it came to her. Ivy grabbed Harley's arm in attempt to get her to stay. But Harley just looked back at her, gave her that classic Harley grin and winked. And Ivy knew exactly what she had to do.

"I'll do it"

As Harley walked over, Punchline threw Helena to the ground. Dinah and Renee ran over to her and lifted her back over to the exit. But before anyone did anything else, something had emerged from a small crack in the wall. It looked like a vine. Everyone could see it. Everyone, that is, except for Punchline. Before she noticed that everyone's attention was fixated on something else, the vine wrapped itself around her wrist. She struggled to fight against it but the vine started pulling the gun closer to her own head. Everyone looked at Ivy, who stood there quietly, looking furious. No one hurts her Harley. Harley laughed at the sight of Punchline's struggle.

However, when the vine first touched Punchline, she was prepared. She had reached into her pocket and pressed the button of a hidden detonator.

Before Ivy could make her final blow, everyone began to hear a beeping sound. They weren't sure where it came from exactly. But then everyone noticed the small clown doll sitting on conveyer belt. Ivy, in a panic, wrapped the vine around the entirety of Punchline, trapping her in the factory and seemingly sealing her fate. Everyone else ran out the room. But it was too late.

It was a small explosion, only really doing damage to anything in the room. However, the rest of them had only just barley made it out when the explosive went off. Everyone was blown away a few feet and landed on the ground. Renee helped Selina to her feet, while Dinah carried Helena. Renee went over to help the others but Selina held her back.

"You need to leave", she said. It wasn't a demand. It wasn't angry. It seemed like she was actually concerned. "Leave now. Before it's too late." She gestured to Helena. Renee did as was suggested to her. She rushed over to Dinah to help keep Helena up and the three of them were out of sight before they knew it.

Selina went over to Ivy and Harley and helped them to their feet. They all managed to get out of the factory by the time the Birds had driven away. However, when they got to their van, something was different. The windows had been smashed. Ivy poked her head in. "The kid isn't in here!"

"What?!?" Harley, in a panic ran all around the van, looking for some sort of sign of Cassandra. Nothing.

Cassandra Cain had vanished.

It was then that Harley Quinn fainted.


End file.
